If I Let Go: Navigating Betrayal

If I Let Go: Navigating Betrayal

Maybe our experience with betrayal was a singular event that crushed our spirit and ravaged our life in an instant.

Maybe we’ve experienced the devastation of betrayal on more than one occasion and we live most days in survival mode, trusting no one.

In speaking of betrayal, this isn’t simply mere offense, but life altering treason…the Judas Kiss.

After the initial implosion that surrounds us with debris and chaos, we are left with a ruptured foundation and a life that will never again be the same.

Our thoughts and emotions are all over the place. There is sorrow and fear; anger and pain; distrust and disillusionment; numbness and despondency.

Where do we start to unravel the knot in our stomachs and the labyrinth in our minds?

It probably goes without saying, but just in case, this isn’t going to be easy. It’s going to take time and deliberate effort.

A word of caution: We will be in a decidedly vulnerable state. Please be as discerning as possible as to whom we invite into our crisis.

Depending on the situation, we may have no control over who is privy to the situation but we do have a say in who we seek out for help. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of this decision.

It is imperative that we confide in those people we believe will understand the severity of the situation and have the wisdom to respond accordingly, meaning, Biblically.

Confiding in people who do not have the Biblical maturity to address and support the situation will at the very least hinder the restoration process but at worst; they can deepen the betrayal all together through their immaturity, ill-advised opinions, capricious actions, indiscretions, gossip or own self-interest.

The situation is fragile and needs to be handled with distinct care.

The first place to seek help is in the Lord. No matter how well we may know the Scriptures, in the coming days we will need His Word afresh. Ask Him to remind us of His promises.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah”

~ Psalm 46: 1-3

Fall on Him in our time of need. Seek His comfort. Petition Him for wisdom and soundness of mind. Ask Him to guard our hearts {Proverbs 4:23} from bitterness or retaliation. {1 Peter 3:9} Don’t hesitate to ask Him to remove our suffering, if He is willing, just as Jesus did. {Luke 22:42}

God’s presence and power are ours in the midst of the wreckage. He is in our crisis. It is of no surprise to Him. Just as Joseph was betrayed over and over yet he said, “You intended to harm me but God intended it for good…” {Genesis 50:20}

The Apostle Paul assures us that, “…in all things God works for the good of those who love him…” {Romans 8:28-29}

And by ‘good’, the Apostle Paul means making us Christ-like.

Our betrayal will have redemptive purposes if we handle it God’s way.

King David cried out to God in the midst of his pain. It’s an act of faith that King David knew God would hear his pleas and act on his behalf. We are to do the same.

“My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
Fear and trembling come upon me,
and horror overwhelms me…

For it is not an enemy who taunts me—
then I could bear it;
it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—
then I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man, my equal,
my companion, my familiar friend…

My companion stretched out his hand against his friends;
he violated his covenant.
His speech was smooth as butter,
yet war was in his heart;
his words were softer than oil,
yet they were drawn swords.”

~ Psalm 55:55:4-5; 12-13; 20-21

The words of Psalm 55 are ultimately God’s Words inspired by His Spirit. When we pray these words, we are agreeing with God that betrayal is a foul sin, not that there is any other kind.

Because the Lord was betrayed during His earthly time, we are sharing our pain with someone Who understands and intercedes on our behalf. {Isaiah 53; Romans 8:34}

This is the only everlasting and incorruptible foundation on which we can build; our identity in Christ – all else is sand. {Matthew 7:24-27}

This will allow us to regain our sure – footing where we can begin the process of forgiveness, restoration and Lord willing, reconciliation.

Oftentimes, we believe that if we move on from the betrayal we’ll forget what we’ve learned in the process and perhaps fall victim once again. It is sensible to want to protect ourselves from being victimized furthermore. We would be remiss and perhaps even reckless to eschew the wisdom being wrought.

But, clinging to the betrayal won’t prevent us from being a victim of someone else’s sin, we live in a fallen world with fallen people like ourselves, we’re to expect trouble, what it will do, however, is create sin in our own hearts.

This is where it becomes easy to slip into a victim mentality. Where we make the betrayal our identity and sabotage our restoration in Christ. The victim mindset often begins with a sinful response to the initial betrayal. Holding onto the betrayal can become a twisted form of security that we need to be on guard against. It’s a deception that will wreak havoc in our hearts and flow into our relationships with Christ and others. {James 3:11}

Notwithstanding, if we are a Christ follower, it’s been part of our sanctification. The afflictions we’ve persevered through have become part of the new man {woman} being put on. It is woven into the tapestry of who we are becoming. Though we will falter, we are being increasingly changed into Christ-likeness which equips us to navigate the tension of this world.

Wherefore, our afflictions glorify God and cultivate our good {by becoming Christ-like}  they are likewise for serving others by bringing them comfort in their time of trouble. {1 Corinthians 1:3-7}

As His servants we are fitted, furnished and employed for such good works because we have experienced Divine consolation so that we may speak a word in season to weary souls.

“Jesus was heard in His deepest woe; my soul, thou shalt be heard also.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

For further consideration on Navigating Betrayal: